Albert Ellis Quotes
People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.
There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.
The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.
The attitude of unconditional self-acceptance is probably the most important variable in their long-term recovery.
The trouble with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But you don't get better. You have to back it up with action, action, action.
Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.
Even injustice has it's good points. It gives me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.
Thinking rationally is often different from "positive thinking," in that it is a realistic assessment of the situation, with a view towards rectifying the problem if possible.
The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.
Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
To err is human; to forgive people and yourself for poor behavior is to be sensible and realistic.
Being assertive does not mean attacking or ignoring others feelings. It means that you are willing to hold up for yourself fairly-without attacking others.
You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.
When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.
You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
Convince yourself that worrying about many situations will make them worse rather than improve them.
Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.
Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren't listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.
By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.
Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.
People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.
Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.
The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.
Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.
I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair; that's the human condition.
Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.
