... parents embarrass their children probably more than the other way around. I don't know why we should blush so hard for our parents -- we didn't rear them -- and yet we do.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

What most of us are after, when we have a picture taken, is a good natural-looking picture that doesn't resemble us.

It is important to remember that these are your Declining Years, in which you can jolly well decline to do what you don't feel like doing, unless not doing it would make you feel worse than doing it.

the most all-around, practical, long-wearing illusions are the ones that you weave yourself.

It's easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.

it isn't true, by the way, that nothing is as bad as you think it's going to be. Some things are exactly as bad as you thought they were going to be, and some things are worse.

We are capable of learning any art.

When they look at a beautiful view, most people see their memories, not the view!

while everything else in our lives has gotten simpler, speedier, more microwavable and user-friendly, child-raising seems to have expanded to fill the time no longer available for it.

You spend your whole life trapped inside your body. Everything you know about the world comes to you through your body.

In the last few years we have learned to distinguish the means of Socialism from the ends.

We just can't go and try to turn the clock back, that's not happening anymore. You've got to figure something else out.

When those nerf footballs get wet though then they actually do get heavy.

That delay is our surest protection which enables us to deliberate on the merits of our intentions.

The things that I have apparently parodied I actually admire.

When will you start asking different questions? Better questions?