"Yeah sure, why not?" i said, making a mental note to get a good look at his wings. For all I knew, they were remote-controlled and duct taped to his back.

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

One of the greatest gifts my father gave me - unintentionally - was witnessing the courage with which he bore adversity.

I'd have no trouble being the barbecue kingpin of America. I'd just add it to all the other things I am: jazz musician, carpenter, architect, engineer and revolutionary.

It is my opinion that the 21st century will be the century of play, and the heteroglossic activity of artists in the 20th century has been the forecast.

In baseball when they say you're out, you're out. It's the same way in politics.

If people do not laugh it's not comedy.

You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.

If you don't know what you want, you will probably never get it.

Brilliant lecturers shouldn't be wasted in lecture rooms: they should appear onTV. We need black market universities, in which people just help each other, and which don't leave out the poor.

I don't write because of some rare talent. I write because I have a little voice inside of me that says really cool things and never shuts up.