Wrestling and acting couldn't be anymore different in terms of what it takes to entertain. Wrestling is explosion, acting is implosion. One really screws up the other.

Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.

Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.

I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark.

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

I thank God for seeing the miracle of a new morning.

The scramble to get into college is going to be so terrible in the next few years that students are going to put up with almost anything, even an education.

I believe that when it comes to major foreign policy issues, many prefer to have black people seen and not heard.

Weakness, fear, melancholy, together with ignorance, are the true sources of superstition. Hope, pride, presumption, a warm indignation, together with ignorance, are the true sources of enthusiasm.

Every show that sells out is like a hero's welcome for me.

I've made a few nice dishes in my time, but this must be the best I've ever made.

There's more to life than cheek bones.

I was right not to be afraid of any thief but myself, who will end by leaving me nothing.

If it's worth feeling bad about, it's worthy of amnesia.