Why has everything got to be about feelings these days? In the old days, no one knew what anyone was feeling and, what's more, they weren't expected to.

The crushing, pitiful, and frequently just plain risible pathos of an unsuccessful actor/performer's life is well charted.

Both Plockton and the Isle of Muck in north-west Scotland are incredibly beautiful. Sadly, Plockton has been discovered by tourists because it's where they shot Hamish Macbeth.

If one's honest about it, spending time in a car with children is pretty ghastly.

Despotism isn't nearly as bad as it's cracked up to be.

My theory is that one needs to be loved completely, unconditionally, and unfettered by parental disapproval, if one is to get happily through life which, after all, presents its own hurdles.

My mother, father, stepmother and surrogate mother have all died of cancer; my best friend has got terminal cancer and at least five of my other friends have had cancer but survived it.

If there's one thing I know, it's this - everybody thinks somebody else is having a better life.

If you have any power at all from being popular, then you have a duty to help people out.

Does everyone turn into a truculent thirteen-year-old when they go home, or is it just me?

Statistically, if you have ever dieted you are extremely likely not only to regain any weight you lose, but to go on to gain even more. Dieting makes you fat.

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.

He's going to kill me. They'll find me lying on the floor, my heart burt wide open, too full of him to stay in my chest.

If you are living in the electrified wireless west, then you are living a very abnormal lifestyle that your genetics has no adaptation to.

But he drank a lot. When love dies, he told me, there are no survivors.

My game is going wrong - the star is setting

No work is "most important." Or, put differently, all work is important but work done poorly becomes most important.

The Greeks invented logic but were not fooled by it.

As long as you don't compliment yourself, your environments and your job, you will always be miserable. Complaints bring misery, compliments brings strength.

Ran out of bullets and still had static, grabbed a pregnant lady and out the automatic. Pointed at her head and said the gun was full of lead, he told the cops, back off or honey here's dead.

I make no apology for preoccupying myself with architecture, television, conceptual art, restaurants and Jane Asher's cakes.