White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.

Let each person decide his or her fate.

I'm a little monster. Cuddling is my specail attack. #cuddlemonster

Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power.

Whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's.

I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff. They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.

It is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.

Love is a thing you never can share.

If you're looking for a boyfriend, you aren't gonna find one. They seem to come into your life when you least expect it.

I write to empty my mind and to fill my heart.

We must dare to invent the future