When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.

The very essence of playfulness is an openness to anything that may happen, the feeling that whatever happens, it's okay... you're either free to play, or you're not.

What have the Romans ever done for us?

All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.

Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Creativity is not the possession of some special talent. It’s about the willingness to play.

When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.

Sorry, but despite how I look, I really love this planet.-Gintoki

I do the extra... When you do the extra you should never doubt yourself... every fight I have a smile on my face because I know I've done it all.

Kyle gazed down at her. “I lied when I said I followed you to the bar because you’re hot.” He touched her cheek. “I saw you laughing with your friends, and your smile sucked me right in.

I wish you joy of your unhappiness, since you cling to it so.

Everyone is given one gift, a reason for being, and it's our obligation to do something with it.

I think he would have been proud and smiling... when we laid him to rest because his family was together. I think that was a great gift to be able to give Dad at the end.

Success is hastened or delayed by one's habits.

I am a recovering alcoholic.

The Bible is clear that God considers 40 days a spiritually significant time period. Whenever God wanted to prepare someone for his purposes, he took 40 days.

But ye gotta know where ye're just gonna rush in. Ye cannae just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'.