When a man is wrong and won't admit is, he always gets angry.

Favoritism manifests itself in all departments of government, public and private. It is the harder to avoid, because it is so natural.

Life ain't all beer and skittles.

Punctuality is the soul of business.

Failures to heroic minds are the stepping stones to success.

Mules and human jackasses are proverbially stubborn.

A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts the lover afore words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first-born baby, and assures him of a mother's love.

Wise men, like wine, are best when old; pretty women, like bread, are best when young.

The bee, though it finds every rose has a thorn, comes back loaded with honey from his rambles; and why should not other tourists do the same?

A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does, but he is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he does.

The happiness of every country depends upon the character of its people, rather than the form of its government.

In 2015 tattoos are more permanent than marriages

Jimmy used to drink liquor. Now he's running for president and he drinks Scotch, and I've never trusted a Scotch-drinker.

You got shot at and you still got me an air conditioner.

I know that I can sing. That's the reason I started playing music when I was twelve years old.

I just think 'Broad City' - Comedy Central's answer to 'Girls' - is the best thing that's been put on television in years. It's amazing.

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession... and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Let's face it.., our current [immigration control] system is like a busy intersection without a traffic cop: sure there are laws on the books, but absent enforcement, there are too many accidents.

The secret is not to act, but to be.

Feel good about being someone who loves selflessly. I think someday you’ll find someone who loves you the exact same way.

It's not right to say that our loss in Vietnam turned out to be a gain. But lessons were learned. And they were the right lessons.