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Jennifer Crusie Quotes

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Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action."

His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks."

Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.




Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "If you can't be a good example, then be a terrible warning."

If you can't be a good example, then be a terrible warning.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him."

Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.




Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "I like my afterglow with you in motion. I measure time by how your body sways."

I like my afterglow with you in motion. I measure time by how your body sways.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "A lot of really big trees had died to make that desk. His mother had probably gnawed them down, used her nails to saw the boards, and finished the decorative cutwork with her tongue."

A lot of really big trees had died to make that desk. His mother had probably gnawed them down, used her nails to saw the boards, and finished the decorative cutwork with her tongue.




Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Once you know the truth, it's always obvious"

Once you know the truth, it's always obvious



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "That furniture cost me a fortune! It's designer furniture." "Designed by whom ? Darth Vader ? The Hitler Youth ?"

That furniture cost me a fortune! It's designer furniture." "Designed by whom ? Darth Vader ? The Hitler Youth ?



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Trying to seduce Alec at all was a waste of time; he came preseduced anyway. Like a microwave entrée. You pressed his buttons, and he got hot."

Trying to seduce Alec at all was a waste of time; he came preseduced anyway. Like a microwave entrée. You pressed his buttons, and he got hot.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work."

When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Part of being a writer is defending your vision and not caving in to outside pressures."

Part of being a writer is defending your vision and not caving in to outside pressures.




Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Values aren't buses... They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are."

Values aren't buses... They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Dempseys are never in trouble. We just have stretches of life that are more interesting than others."

Dempseys are never in trouble. We just have stretches of life that are more interesting than others.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent."

Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire."

Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died."

As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "You have to open up to the world and learn optimism...Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim."

You have to open up to the world and learn optimism...Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "If you haven't failed, you're not trying hard enough."

If you haven't failed, you're not trying hard enough.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "The last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class"

The last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat?"

You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat?



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin. I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture"

Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin. I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Gwen Goodnight"

If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Gwen Goodnight



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "This is making me crazy. I hate relying on other people to save me, I hate being clingy, I hate it, and every time you show up, I lean on you. - Matilda Scarlet Veronica Betty Vilma Goodnight"

This is making me crazy. I hate relying on other people to save me, I hate being clingy, I hate it, and every time you show up, I lean on you. - Matilda Scarlet Veronica Betty Vilma Goodnight



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Dead woman are not romantic,' Sophie said flatly. 'Okay, she's not dead,' Phin said. 'The bear ate her, and she came her brains out."

Dead woman are not romantic,' Sophie said flatly. 'Okay, she's not dead,' Phin said. 'The bear ate her, and she came her brains out.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "have you ever met a woman you wanted to give everything to? just turn over everything you had? -Davy Dempsey-"

have you ever met a woman you wanted to give everything to? just turn over everything you had? -Davy Dempsey-



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "I believe things will work out for us if we just believe in ourselves."

I believe things will work out for us if we just believe in ourselves.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Zach had brought her a dog."

Zach had brought her a dog.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "It was a lot easier when we could just brand'em," Ben said. "Then everybody'd know not to mess with our womenfolk."

It was a lot easier when we could just brand'em," Ben said. "Then everybody'd know not to mess with our womenfolk.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "We're going to need a bigger dock"

We're going to need a bigger dock



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him. What?' Ronald said. I didn't say anything.' You're breathing heavy."

He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him. What?' Ronald said. I didn't say anything.' You're breathing heavy.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Christ, I'm in a Doris Day movie"

Christ, I'm in a Doris Day movie



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Nothing but good times ahead."

Nothing but good times ahead.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Say, ‘Thank you, Phin.’ ” “Oh, please.” “Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. ” “I don’t think so.” “Say, ‘You are a great lover, Phin.’ ” “I’m out of here."

Say, ‘Thank you, Phin.’ ” “Oh, please.” “Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. ” “I don’t think so.” “Say, ‘You are a great lover, Phin.’ ” “I’m out of here.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "It's not a problem. There are people out there with much worse problems than mine."-Cynthia "Doesn't make yours any more fun to bear."-Liza "No. But it does help with the self-pity."- Cynthia"

It's not a problem. There are people out there with much worse problems than mine."-Cynthia "Doesn't make yours any more fun to bear."-Liza "No. But it does help with the self-pity."- Cynthia



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "That’s not a father. That’s a sperm donor. Forget him. He’s a mess. Concentrate on me. I’m terrific. (Linc Blaise)"

That’s not a father. That’s a sperm donor. Forget him. He’s a mess. Concentrate on me. I’m terrific. (Linc Blaise)



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Real life doesn't have to suck."

Real life doesn't have to suck.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She would'nt do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end."

I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She would'nt do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Have you talked to North?" he said. "Yes," she said. "I asked him to get us cable." "I wish you weren't talking to him." "I'd talk to Satan to get cable," Andie said."

Have you talked to North?" he said. "Yes," she said. "I asked him to get us cable." "I wish you weren't talking to him." "I'd talk to Satan to get cable," Andie said.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "He loved her all he could; but he couldn't love her very much."

He loved her all he could; but he couldn't love her very much.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Wonder of wonders, the box had Elvis. Immediately the bar seemed a better place. She fed in coins and then punched the keys for "Hound Dog." Too bad Elvis had never recorded one called "Dickhead."

Wonder of wonders, the box had Elvis. Immediately the bar seemed a better place. She fed in coins and then punched the keys for "Hound Dog." Too bad Elvis had never recorded one called "Dickhead.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "no more pep talks about believing in toads," Liza said. "Don't they turn into princeses when you kiss them?" Bonnie said. "Thats frogs," Liza Said. "Entirely different species."

no more pep talks about believing in toads," Liza said. "Don't they turn into princeses when you kiss them?" Bonnie said. "Thats frogs," Liza Said. "Entirely different species.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "In the bad old days, men kept women from choosing to work. In the bad new days, women keep women from choosing to stay home."

In the bad old days, men kept women from choosing to work. In the bad new days, women keep women from choosing to stay home.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell"

Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Okay, Shane," Agnes said as Brenda's clock gonged midnight. "I got Joey in the kitchen, a cop in the front hall, a dead body in the basement, and you in my bedroom. Where do you want to start?"

Okay, Shane," Agnes said as Brenda's clock gonged midnight. "I got Joey in the kitchen, a cop in the front hall, a dead body in the basement, and you in my bedroom. Where do you want to start?



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way." "Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him."

It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way." "Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "A bar would not be a good career move for you."

A bar would not be a good career move for you.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that."

Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that.



Jennifer Crusie Quotes: "There wasn't enough gratitude in the world for a server who kept drinks coming at a time like this."

There wasn't enough gratitude in the world for a server who kept drinks coming at a time like this.