When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

I am not afraid of death, which after all can't be far away. What does frighten me, though, is the halfway stage.

Be so busy competing with your old self until you start to see no reason to ever compete with others.

Prettiness fades after a few years, but elegance only increases with age.

The thing about the ocean is that the surface won’t always tell you what is going on underneath.

If triangles had a god, they would give him three sides.

Anyone who knows who God made them to be will never try to be someone else.

Life is to be used, not just held in the hand like a box of bonbons that nobody eats.

Youth is a predominant factor. We are seeing a young King Arthur, and thereby a young-ish - as I'm into my 40s - Merlin. It was about how to tackle it, from that point view.

The beginning of all wisdom is recognition of facts.

But it’s compounded by the fact that I love animals and feel better not eating them.