We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

...primarily the individual is going to study at home.

Sequel to Albert Einstein's quote "education is what remains after you have forgotten what you learned in school, " beauty is what remains inside a body after it has wrinkled.

Prudery is often immodestly modest; its habit is to multiply sentinels in proportion as the fortress is less threatened.

It's always more interesting and more difficult to make something positive than negative. To be negative is very easy.

Everything that's born has to die, which means our lives are like skyscrapers. The smoke rises at different speeds, but they're all on fire, and we're all trapped.

The world is full of people who are very clever at seeming much smarter than they really are.

You must put the essence of what you want to say into a painting. The rest is arbitrary. Chosen with discernment, but chosen, and choice involves elimination.

Never lose sight of an antelope for a dashing squirrel.

Followers of Jesus who count the cost and are willing to take up their crosses after him must have broad shoulders.

Faith is a kind of immune system filtering out fears that otherwise would paralyze all activity.