To me, success is when you can walk into Ralph's and buy anything you want. Ultimate success, however, is when Ralph can walk into you and buy anything he wants.

I do make a concscious effort to be genuine among other comedians. If I write something or try something that doesn't feel like me, I stop doing it.

The reson I don't own a cell phone is I like making plans and being free and being normal, the way everyone was back in the 80's. Kill your cell phone.

Time may be defined as " dimension governed by activity." Dimension diminishes with inactivity so does the value of time.

My chest ached, my body speaking a language my head didn't quite understand.

I like things pretty close around me. I like to know that my house is safe, that the people and animals I love are well and happy. I like to feel as peaceful as possible.

Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.

Playing around is one thing; following an established regimen is quite another. It's true with exercise equipment and it is true with prayer.

Don't 'take care', take a risk!

Music is the brandy of the damned.

I even tried to tell myself to live my best life today.

The habit of looking on the bright side of every event is worth more than a thousand pounds a year.

If we save our wild places, we will ultimately save ourselves.