Through sources, we have obtained the following alien assessment of the human species: The male wants to be valued for what he pretends to be. The female wants to be overvalued for what she truly is.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

I am not rich, but I am wealthy and my wealth is my love.

I imagine it feels like bathing in ice to the person touching her. But how does it feel to her? Cold as she is, it must surely burn like fire.

If I defer the grief I will diminish the gift.

I am attracted to the dark side of life!

Animists are people who recognize that the world is full of persons, only some of whom are human.

Great chefs know it's the appearance of food that counts...but great eaters know its the amount of food that counts

Humor is the only reason to live.

I would want to teach my children someday that they should strive to be successful.

Sometimes, and those times are many, wisdom demands that we remain silent. This is such a time.

Our thinking can create liberation or it can create imprisonment. It depends on how we use our mind.