This is our chance to build a Britain where everyone benefits from the success of the economy.

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.

My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.

It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.

The only reason I wouldn't go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.

My ideal world is, we're there, we're in the EU, trying to make it better.

There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.

In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can't turn the clock back to 1904, what's the point of being a Conservative?

I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.

What we bloodlessy call 'place' is to young children a wild compound of dream, spell and substance: place is somewhere they are always 'in', never 'on'.

Memories extend our lives backward through time, making them feel longer.

Come on, say it again. I'm a perfect devil. Tell me how bad I am. It makes me feel so good!

If you had a Ministry box set under your Christmas tree, wrapped in paper, 'From Beer to Eternity' is the bow that goes around the present, you know what I mean?

The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.

I'm really not that good at Guitar Hero!

Well, I think we need to have attrition by enforcement. We need to secure our borders. We need to enforce our laws.

With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?

Feel free to change. When you discover something true about yourself, put it in action regardless of who you were yesterday.

I was so wild and crazy and dumb in my car. It didn't run but 30 miles an hour. You made do.