There's always a little bit of heaven, even in a disaster area.

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans or brains on the ceiling.

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self.

We can make a difference and have fun doing it

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life.

we're all bozos on the bus, so might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.

Sure, I could of done it different... put my clown in a closet and dressed up in straight clothing. I could of compromised my essence, and swallowed my soul.

Death was Patrick Henry's second choice.

And I also thought that Richard Nixon was the greatest political education we have ever had, but it looks like we need to relearn them again.

I prayed aloud, less to plead for divine favor than to intimidate the tribe with articulate speech.

To live is to have worries and uncertainties. Keep them inside, and they will destroy you for certain--leaving behind a person so callused that emotion can find no root in his heart.

That was not the biggest battle that ever was, but for me it always typified one thing; the dash, the ingenuity, the readiness at the first opportunity that characterizes the American soldier.

I really like nice forearms - nice strong hands and forearms. I love that because then they can wear a watch really well.

When life is unhappy it is hard to endure, when it is happy it is terrible to think of it ending. Both amount to the same thing in the end.

A lot of those people aren't their best salesmen. They're the opposite of a salesperson and I think there's something attractive about that.

This business of saying the same thing over and over and over again – which to a lot of Washington insiders and pundits is boring – works.

I think that presidents don't give up power that has accrued to them by the precedent of previous presidents. Even when they say they would like to, I think once they get there they don't give it up.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

You can laugh, you can cry, you can express yourself, but please don’t hurt each other!