There's a lot of guy comics who I think are funny, but I generally am more excited about a special or a show where there are females.

I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.

The power of visibility can never be underestimated.

Over half the world menstruates at one time or another, but you'd never know it. Isn't that strange?

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.

If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'

I’m not playing the race card. I’m playing the rice card.

I’m so glad to hear you are a reader, and you found these books to help you work through things on your own.

The passion I feel for you is more than you’re prepared for. - Eric

These paper boats of mine are meant to dance on the ripples of hours, and not reach any destination.

I rarely drink, I don't smoke, so my vice is probably creating. I'm addicted to creating. And women.

To simply see a teacher to gain power is a mistake. You'll gain the power, but with the current mindset that you have you'll probably create more unhappiness for yourself than happiness.

Somewhere between raising hell and amazing grace, Lord I know just how they feel.

I’m as old as both of you,” she said, even though she suspected she wasn’t, “and I’m smarter, and I can probably fight as well as you can.

If you have wit, use it to please and not to hurt: you may shine like the sun in the temperate zones without scorching.

See with one eye, feel with the other.

If you are only born once, you will die twice. But if you are born twice, you will only die once.