The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

My life is filled with ineffable miracles.

Those who find courage to pursue their dreams, manifest gladness of the soul.

You could be together forever, but one of you is going to have to go first. I want it to last. I love him and I want it to stay.

Love and romance are things worth waiting for.

When you are public figure, you're an athlete or actor, that is your job to speak out on certain things. I think you speak out on what you desire to speak out on or your passionate about.

America is a country that has been skating for ages on its unparalleled ability to look marvelous on the outside.

I'm not a musician - I'm a ham.

Don't confuse facts with reality.

The very meaninglessness of life forces man to create his own meaning.

I want to thank Gus Van Sant for selling out so that I could use his editor Curtis Clayton, who did a great job.