The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

The TV Tropes QC page is every single idiotic comment from my forums distilled into one HTML document.

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

The greatest betrayal is betraying yourself.

We could use some good luck. That doesn’t mean we’ll get it.

Every man has his own destiny the only imperative is to follow it to accept it no matter where it leads him.

We might be the holographic image of a two-dimensional structure.

Prayer is the way you defeat the devil, reach the lost, restore a backslider, strengthen the saints, send missionaries out, cure the sick, accomplish the impossible, and know the will of God.

It's human nature to be optimistic. Any fool can enter a market, it takes talent to exit consistently and profitably.

I am not a promoter of more laws, just better ones.

I've always been fascinated by Asian culture, and I love that women can play the lead in a horror film.

It's only a little secret, but having a secret makes me feel better. Like a human being again.

I pray you bear me henceforth from the noise and rumour of the field, where I may think the remnant of my thoughts in peace, and part of this body and my soul with contemplation and devout desires.