The only thing that kept me out of college was high school.

I am a dog that loves my fleas.

Well, it's great that critics are comparing me to Eminem, and not Vanilla Ice.

Kids today look at me like I'm Neil Young. Nirvana is the band their parents listen to.

I hyperventilate opening a box of chocolates. I'm the most nervous guy in the world.

I am an avid drinker with a serious bowling problem.

Know thy self, and the world will be thy oyster!

What the war did to dreamers.

I don't remember Sherlock Holmes ever mentioning what you are supposed to do when you've eliminated everything improbable, and nothing is left.

To be successful, you must leave the church walls behind and go out

In the deregulated realm of US banking and finance, crime does occasionally pay for its foul deeds, not in prison time but by making modest rebates to the victims.

Get face time with the customers.

Kindly words, sympathizing attentions, watchfulness against wounding men's sensitiveness-these cost very little, but they are priceless in their value.

If you stand for great service, low prices, superb quality, stylish design and environmental friendliness, you actually stand for nothing.

Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh.

Gifts fall from heaven only in fairy tales.