The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

I think perhaps all of us go a little crazy at times.

Horror is the removal of masks.

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

We're all not quite as sane as we pretend to be.

So much for modern science and its wonderful discoveries that just about everything can kill you. Life is only a bedtime story before a long, long sleep.

I always carry a pistol when I go [to the New York Public Library]. Never did trust those stone lions.

Nothing lasts forever, even the hardships of life they too fade away with time, but what makes them hard is to have patience and not to loose hope

Lust promises you the world, and disappoints. Love promises you the universe, and delivers.

Like every man of sense and good feeling, I abominate work.

Identity is not inherent. It is shaped by circumstance and sensitivity and resistance to self-pity.

I always went to see independent films, they're the movies I'm usually most excited to see.

Revolutions are never peaceful.

It is perfectly reasonable to despair of a world where the Nobel Committee gives the Peace Prize to a man running a war.

It is very reasonable to worry about the harm done by organized religion, and to prefer looser and more private arrangements.

I love country music, but I find it very hard to take it seriously. I also think a lot of country music is sung with the tongue in cheek, so I do it tongue in cheek.

Ooh. Top secret angel business, huh? What’re you going to do? Dance on a pinhead? Lobby for National Cute Puppy Day?