The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

Theres nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas.

Be the Light you seek so desperately in your life and chase away that darkness.

Our relations with brothers in Gulf Cooperation council are good and developing, either bilateral relations or with the G.C.C itself, also we have good brotherly and solid ties with Saudi Arabia.

Alekhine developed as a player much more slowly than most. In his twenties, he was an atrocious chessplayer, and didn't mature until he was well into his thirties.

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't human and tears weren't rolling down my face and I wasn't pissed and I wasn't angry. There are lots of times that those emotions come out in my career.

Rendering oneself unarmed when one had been the best-armed, out of a height of feeling-that is the means to real peace, which must always rest on a peace of mind.

Most business problems can be solved if you can teach yourself to look beyond the dollar sign.

I'm just a skinny kid from Maywood trying to do my best. I never took anything for granted. I never wanted to come off like some kind of big-headed, conceited athlete.

The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone.

Probably not even a household name in his own house.