TV is all about hair. And then skin. And then clothing. And then it's about your voice. And finally the report, what you're actually saying. And 99 times out of 100, it never gets past the hair.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

Reading every day keeps the brain dead sickness away.

You know you're in love when you cant even put into words, how you feel for a person.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Literature ceases to be literature when it commits itself to moral uplift; it becomes moral philosophy or some such dull thing.

You cannot separate charity and religion.

I try to grow like a tree, and hope that I can reach my full potential by the end of this short life. Change is good but growth is better.

I don't think Mitt Romney is a smart person. I never have thought he was a smart person. But the Mormons are very smart people.

I realized I probably wouldn't make another film that cuts through commercial and creative things like 'Godfather' or 'Apocalypse.'

We cannot allow violence from militant activists to dictate where and how democratically elected state leaders hold their meetings.

If it really made sense to "let the club do the work," you'd just say, "Driver, wedge to the green, one-putt," and walk to the next tee.