Sometimes a person needs to hear you forgive them so they can start to forgive themselves.

He’d spent so much time in the penalty box for fighting last season, he’d been tempted to hang a picture and maybe set up a lava lamp, it had felt so much like home

For humans to move to higher ground, we must have different views, but share the common ground as well.

It’s bad enough barging into Guild property, but we’ll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won’t stop at sarcasm. He might use’ - Colon swallowed - ‘irony.

Perhaps it is better not to tell what you wish. if you cannot have it.

Nearly everything that happened had happened before. The grand lesson of history.

Whether rich people make money or lose money, they get no sympathy from the public.

I also wish that the Pledge of Allegiance were directed at the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, as it is when the President takes his oath of office, rather than to the flag and the nation

All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don't discover why.

I think the audience should take away that it's okay to be smart, it's okay to be funny and well-learned. You can be from academia and be funny; you don't have to be an idiot.

Procrastination is hardly more evil than grasping impatience.

I'm not a big fan of mediocre.