Some people will tell you that slow is good - but I'm here to tell you that fast is better.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

It's so great as an actor to get the opportunity to do something that's incredibly truthful.

Political correctness is tyranny with manners.

Joy may you have and gentle hearts content Of your loves couplement: And let faire Venus, that is Queene of love, With her heart-quelling Sonne upon you smile

I knew I was in England by the smell.

There is nothing like success to breed followers.

Confound you handsome young fellows! You think of having it all your own way in the world. You don't understand women. They don't admire you half so much as you admire yourselves.

No performer should attempt to bite off red-hot iron unless he has a good set of teeth.

There is no struggle, rift, fight between those who claim the banner of the tea party and those who are in the Republican Party. We work together.

Falling in love was the easy part; planning a wedding - yikes!

Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?