Some boys go to college and eventually succeed in getting out. Others go to college and never succeed in getting out. The latter are called professors.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Don't Fear the fear. Embrace It.

BONN: I thought fatherhood was hard, and some people weren’t suited for it. But it’s not. Being a father, a good one, I mean, is about making a choice.

It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the band? 'Hey, I wrote a song.'

Anyone who said he wasn't afraid during the civil rights movement was either a liar or without imagination. I was scared all the time. My hands didn't shake but inside I was shaking.

A sense of our own folly is a great step towards being wise, when it leads us to rely on the wisdom of the Lord.

My plan will also help reduce the cost of child care by allowing parents to fully deduct the average cost of child care spending from their taxes.

What is a church? Let Truth and reason speak, They would reply, "The faithful, pure and meek, From Christian folds, the one selected race, Of all professions, and in every place.

Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you're going to be right.

The country in which I live is not my native country, that lies elsewhere, and it must always be the center of my longings.

What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.