Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn't hold water.

"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.

No brain is stronger than its weakest think.

Seventy million books in America's libraries, but the one you want to read is always out.

Think of what would happen to us... if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record.

What if my trousers are shabby and worn, they cover a warm hearth.

To feel themselves in the presence of true greatness many find it necessary only to be alone.

Sense of humor: A thread of illuminated intelligence that links two opposite ideas.

It must be a hard life to be the child of a psychologist.

A mind is as strong as its weakest think.

A senior always feels like the university is going to the kids.

Life is just more comfortable if you're honest and open about everything. I spent so many years being in the closet about one thing or another.

I wouldn't be able to act like Al Pacino or play the piano like Dr. John, But I could probably act better than Dr. John and play the piano better than Al Pacino.

There is no safe political refuge for those afraid to take responsibility for their own lives.

Louis Kelso's formula sounds like Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. The whole theory sounds crazy. But, then, one may recall, they said all that of Copernicus too.

I am not a feminist, but I do believe in the strength of women.

I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

Everyone you trust, everyone you think you can count on, will eventually disappoint you.

Art has absolutely no existence as veracity, as truth.

Remember finally, that the ashes that were on your forehead are created from the burnt palms of last Palm Sunday. New beginnings invariably come from old false things that are allowed to die.

Little Lamb, who made thee? Dost thou know who made thee?