Popularity--The capacity for listening sympathetically when men boast of their wives and women complain of their husbands.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Don't stress over being yourself. The act of being yourself is simply to be. Be without changing yourself for others. Simply be.

Through joy, the Soul confirms your ability to remain victorious - even in the midst of defeat.

I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.

Just see how it glints and sparkles. Of course it is a nucleus and focus of crime. Every good stone is. They are the devil

March is outside the door Flaming some old desire As man turns uneasily from his fire.

The statistics requested respecting the number of crimes that have been solved by tracing the firearm back to the registered owner are not kept at this time and are therefore not available.

I've never voted. I've never voted yet although I could have voted for the last ten years.

Whoever listens to slander is himself a slanderer.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

Oh God. She probably thinks we were off doing—you know—romantic type, um, things—