People are messy, unpredictable things.

The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)

I challenge you to find a more innocuous sentence containing the words sperm, suction, swallow, and any homophone of seaman. And then call me up on the homophone and read it to me.

It tastes like water spiked with strange.

The human digestive tract is like the Amtrak line from Seattle to Los Angeles: transit time is about thirty hours, and the scenery on the last leg is pretty monotonous.

Constipation ran Presley's life. Even his famous motto TCB— 'Taking Care of Business'— sounds like a reference to bathroom matters.

It's called the FATLOSE trail. FATLOSE stands for 'Fecal Administration To LOSE weight, ' an example of PLEASE— Pretty Lame Excuse for an Acronym, Scientists and Experimenters.

Meaning 'by way of the anus'. 'Per Annum', with two n's, means 'yearly'. The correct answer to the question, 'What is the birthrate per anum?' is zero (one hopes).

The greater the challenge, the greater the grace of God.

You don't have to go with the crowd.

There is a constant battle between Cogsy and I as who's the biggest psycho in the band

I like to direct for the big screen.

Have you ever had a broken heart?

Some believers are fundamentalists about everything, but every believer is a fundamentalist about something.

Since I started in motor racing I've worked with people from all over the world. We are all here to go racing and prejudice will never play any part in that.

...and I discovered something: the meaning of my life was whatever I wanted it to be.

I have a good mind but I don't like to bore anyone with it.

Thought is the property of him who can entertain it, and of him who can adequately place it.