Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.

The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!

Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.

Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

He slides into second with a stand-up double.

And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

You don’t miss great leaders because their impacts and footprints are always staring at you in the face.

Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write a swimming pool.

Power is the sum total of the wills of the mass, transfered by express or tactic agreement to rulers chosen by the masses.

Abu Ghraib, as bad as it was, can't be compared to what Saddam was doing to people.

Grace only sticks to our imperfections. Those who can’t accept their imperfections can’t accept grace either.

Gullibility is the key to all adventures. The greenhorn is the ultimate victor in everything; it is he who gets the most out of life.

Stop looking to everyone else to make you happy and start finding ways that you can make other people happy.

I think I've been asked just about every question under the sun. I'm just really honored that people are even interested in asking me questions.

We don't know what's causing climate change on this planet. And the idea of spending trillions and trillions of dollars to try to reduce CO2 emissions is not the right course for us.

Education, introspection, self-love and excellence are the only ways to overcome the wrath of ignorance