One report said that since my time on the run I've had 2,500 girlfriends. I mean, you have got to realize I've been on the run for more than 30 years. I have got to have had more than that.

The last thing I stole was a box of Coca Cola from a parked truck in Adelaide. I was nice and drunk. It was New Year's Eve. And that was about 28 years ago.

I won a scholarship with the Brixton School of Building. I screwed around, not putting in a proper attendance.

It has been rumoured that I was the brains of the robbery, but that was totally incorrect. I've been described as the tea boy, which is also incorrect.

There has been so much rubbish written up in the papers over the years.

Banks' beer. There's nothing like it! To Brazil. And to Barbados justice.

I used to have a list of things from my school buddies of what kind of art material they wanted. I'd go up to the West End of London and spend the whole day knocking stuff off.

I am no longer a criminal. I gave up that practice years ago.

I am not a perfect man who has led a faultless life.

For more than 13,000 days on the run, my life was a soap opera.

I don't have any intentions to return to England. I would go back if I could return as a free person. I don't want to return to prison.

I think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period. Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness.

Don't Cry For Someone, Who Killed Your Smile.

You’re the one sitting there with a boner. You’llterrify your charity guys, walking in with that thing pointingat them.

Problem with an old friend who is too busy: he always perceives you as if never changed.

Buddhism ... is not a culture but a critique of culture, an enduring nonviolent revolution or "loyal opposition" to the culture in which it is involved.

All we can do is evaluate what we see in practice.

Drunkards of summer are quite as frequent as Drunkards of wine.

If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all OK

I never sort of thought of myself as a comedy writer, by nature.

I have family, I work with a lot of friends, but you'll never find me saying, "Hey, let's get a drink at 8:30 [pm]."