One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring.

I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.

Journalism is the only thinkable alternative to working.

The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.

What a pity people don't take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is bordering on fascism to think like that.

My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.

It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.

I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.

In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'.

May you find the inner-strength to reach your dreams.

You can't argue with insanity. You can stare at it, gaping and incredulous, but arguing with it is futile.

God cannot alter the past, though historians can.

The amount of hassle involved in travel can be overwhelming.

Artists are the worst [people]. They are selfish, self-centred; they don't care what happens.

Folks, we want to end Obamacare. We want to go to a plan that is so much better and so much less expensive, right?

Better let it all alone in the depths of her heart and the depths of the sea.

Originality exists in every individual because each of us differs from the others. We are all primary numbers divisible only by ourselves.

If our children are healthy, they'll develop into their full potential and become wonderful tax-paying citizens sometime.

North Korea is not an exception. Even there, where you think it would be completely sober, they have the myth of their revolution being connected to the volcano.