Nobody run off with her,” Roscoe said. "She just run off with herself, I guess.

True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it

Self-parody is the first portent of age.

Only a rank degenerate would drive 1,500 miles across Texas without eating a chicken fried steak.

Backward is just not a natural direction for Americans to look - historical ignorance remains a national characteristic.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.

Uva uvum vivendo varia fit

People would be bored shitless if they had to love only the good in someone they care about.

A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose.

Incompetents invariably make trouble for people other than themselves.

Yesterday's gone on down the river and you can't get it back.

Without books, the world will be void.

It's not how you start, it's how you finish.

To depart from righteousness is to choose a life of crushing burdens, failures, and disappointments, a life caught in the toils of endless problems that are never resolved.

Science is the most complete presentment of facts with the least expenditure of thought

Follow pleasure, and then will pleasure flee, Flee pleasure, and pleasure will follow thee.

Like any of life's refining fires, cancer is a potentially profound learning experience. So what did I learn? I learned that profound learning experiences are vastly overrated.

I've never played a character that would sing.

time stood still. I fell into that beloved space that writers fall into, the reason most write, as it's better than drugs or alcohol ... a high without hangover, an affair without pain.

[democrats] have become the party of snobs. You have become the party of Americans who think they're better than other Americans.

There is only one fault, only one: our inability to feed upon light.