No one knows anything. You're going to make mistakes and you're going to do things that people think are stupid. You can't sit there and go, "I never want to make a mistake."

It's not like you get up on stage and you're immediately a genius. It takes a long time. So, don't be discouraged.

If a guy doesn't like a funny girl, something is wrong with him.

A person being patient with an insane person is my favorite thing in the world.

Comedy is incredibly hard. You have to be loose. You have to be not afraid to fail.

Growing up in Oklahoma, there wasn't much to do. Play sports, do a lot of drugs, or read and watch movies, which is what I did.

Yeah, improvising only really works 100% when you're with somebody.

All the stories have to do with emotion. Emotion is driving everything.

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I ever came up with where I gave him a name and a way of dressing.

Oddly enough, I have really bad stage fright - getting up in front of people. And I made a living going on live television.

If you can't forgive yourself, you think you're never going to be able to forgive yourself.

I've committed to nothing...and that's just suicide...by tiny, tiny increments.

With the lightness of being above the clouds gently wrapped in wings of love.

Real problems can't be fixed with a motivational poster, a cute quote or a pat on the back.

Nobody deserves death, yet everybody gets it.

The man who gets me is getting one hell of a woman.

Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil's spawn. He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive.

Poetry is the tunnel at the end of the light.

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

Men who have created new fruits in the world cannot create a system whereby those fruits may be eaten.

The body searches for that which has injured the mind with love.