No matter how bad things are, you can at least be happy that you woke up this morning.

One of the most beautiful things in the world I've ever seen or heard is people laughing, even when there seems to be so little reason for them to laugh.

Black folks never bungie jump. That's too much like lynching for us. I'm gonna let you tie a rope around me and push me off a bridge? You must be out your damn mind.

There's something about having a great bottle of wine and a great cigar. Nothing compares to it.

No matter how bad things are, you can at least be happy that you woke up this morning. D.

I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it.

I used to always run off at the mouth and talk about people. I just didn't know that it would make a living for me.

They didn't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he's black. Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now if that ain't black folk, I don't know what is.

With a cigar like in life, you got to have some length, and some girth.

Every group has its idiosyncrasies, but at a certain point we all are human.

The one thing women love more than money is power.

Anxiety swarms in the heart like worms infect the whole body.

Accumulating orthodoxy makes it harder year-by-year to be a Christian than it was in Jesus' day.

It's only out of reach when you choose to keep your feet flat on the floor.

Programming language is to the computer

Prufrock had measured out his life with measuring spoons; Dubin, in books resurrecting the lives of others.

Basketball doesn't build character it reveals it.

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

War is both the product of an earlier corruption, and a producer of new corruptions.

I'm not a method guy. I can't be bothered to have a method. I just want to be a part of a good movie and I can't stand to be surrounded by morons.

Perhaps, if you knew you were going to die, your senses crammed in as much detail as they could while they still had the chance.