Newspapers are so boring. How can you read a newspaper that starts with a 51-word lead sentence?

Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.

If a man, for private profit, tears at the public news, does so with the impatience of one who thinks he actually owns the news you get, it is against the national interest.

Rage is ... This is Breslin's full quote: Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy that nobody knows whether to genuflect or spit.

Politics: where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president how to act on a public stage.

When you leave New York you ain't going anywhere.

That's the horrible thing starting out, you get distracted a lot because anything is easier than writing. It's just the same enemy - blank paper.

The test of a good idea is its ability to last through a hangover

True New Yorkers do not really seek information about the outside world. They feel that if anything is not in New York it is not likely to be interesting.

. . . breathing slowly and rubbing his palm against his chest as if to soothe his heart.

It is far better to put away fear than to be driven by it.

Education ought to foster the wish for truth, not the conviction that some particular creed is the truth.

They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.

Research now means a Google search.

If an enemy strikes your left cheek, offer him your right.

The fuses had been lit and could not be extinguished. All that remained was to observe the speed of the spark, and the size of the explosions.

Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are a woman.

Opportunity is often difficult to recognize; we usually expect it to beckon us with beepers and billboards.