Nah. I'm a tough cookie. Except for the cancer, I'm fine.

Listen carefully, I’m going to say three words.”“I love you?

How do you tell the psychiatrists from the patients in the hospital?The patients get better and leave.

I wonder if whoever invented World of Warcraft realizes it’s practice for sociopaths.

Paper is more patient than man.

Losing your job gives you time

A simple "Hi" has potential to make you blush, if received from your crush.

Things that don't exist do exist. They're just really fast.

Summer comes over the hill like a hairy blanket.

If you give, you will be blessed.

If we're going to spend a lot of money to deal with the problem of 200 million guns in the country owned by 65 million gun owners, we ought to have a system which will work and catch criminals.

This man [Chesterfield], I thought, had been a Lord among wits; but I find he is only a wit among Lords.

Music is well said to be the speech of angels; in fact, nothing among the utterances allowed to man is felt to be so divine. It brings us near to the infinite.

Losing my homies in a hurry, they're relocating to the cemetery.