My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.

Do you guys think its worse to wear a fedora or kill 15 people?

If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.

I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.

Sometimes when Im nervous, thats when the most interesting things happen.

Why are old maps always burnt?

I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world.

I only do private room karaoke where its just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.

Im Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.

On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone.

We have a large public that is very ignorant about public affairs and very susceptible to simplistic slogans by candidates who appear out of nowhere, have no track record, but mouth appealing slogans

She has a smile that grows slowly and then shines, like an angel’s smile.

Let's do this. November 8, let's win. You are going to look back at this election and say, this is by far the most important vote you have ever cast for anyone at any time.

Our constitutional democracy demands our participation, all the time.

Well, everything is constantly evolving and changing. That's what life is all about. But basically Hollywood has lost its focus as a film center. Films are now made all over the world.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

People are either born hosts or born guests.

Have you ever sought God with your whole heart, or have you simply given Him a feeble cry after some emotionally painful experience?

A blogger is constantly looking over his shoulder, for fear that he is not being followed.

Barcelona is a great city and Spain is a great country to live in.