Im Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.

Do you guys think its worse to wear a fedora or kill 15 people?

If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.

I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.

Sometimes when Im nervous, thats when the most interesting things happen.

Why are old maps always burnt?

I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world.

My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.

I only do private room karaoke where its just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.

On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone.

Happiness and confidence are the prettiest things you can wear

Unfortunately a lot of people in the world live almost unconsciously

Independence is fun, especially when there's a beloved waiting in the wings, and freedom makes you a more interesting person. Having separate lives brings fresh air into a relationship.

The only rational way of educating is to be an example. If one can't help it, a warning example.

That wasn't your mom in you—that was your dad.

Home is where, when you have to go there, you probably shouldn't.

I grew up in a household that revered building businesses. It wasn't thinking about leadership; it was more about building something. To build something, you ultimately have to lead.

A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.

You can fall into a trap, worrying too much about what the audience might think, rather than going from the inside out.

I fear a permanent Confederation will never be settled; tho the most material articles are I think got thro', so as to give great offence to some, but to my Satisfaction.