My parents are highly evolved worriers. ... If worrying were an Olympic sport, my parents' faces would have graced the Wheaties box a long time ago.

Without my relatives, I am but a thread; together, we form a colorful and elaborate Persian carpet.

Most fruits, if left alone on a tree, eventually do ripen, especially if they're not being yelled at.

Writing is such a powerful tool. I believe everyone should be writing.

In America, Christmas is the king of all holidays. To be left out of Christmas is the ultimate minority experience.

My father's motto has always been 'Room in the heart, room in the house.' As charming as this sounds, it translates into a long line for the bathroom and extra loads of laundry for my mother.

Everyone except gamblers knows that gambling never pays. ... Losing, like winning, only increased his determination to play.

Elinor Lipman is to tweets what Shakespeare is to sonnets.

For me, writing clarifies things. It gives meaning, and it makes me see the connections.

My dad always says that kindness is our religion and if we treat everybody the way we would like to be treated, the world would be a better place.

... even though we belong to three different religions. We are alike in so many more ways than we are different.

A friend is he who can feel your heart's beating and dance with it when it is joyful, cry with it when it is torn, and inspire when it is in need.

Liberals want Conservatives to shut up. Conservatives want Liberals to keep talking. Because our arguments make sense and theirs don't

Don't be a leaf... Be a tree!

They say California's the big burrito; Texas is a big taco right now. We want to follow that through. Florida is a big tamale.

Really, it's only been since the '70s that Canadians have had any pride in their country.

...don't spoil my learning process!

It is utterly astonishing how ordinary a book can be and still be thought the product of omniscience.

The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.