My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

You will never realize how precious a baby is until she keeps you awake through the whole night.

With every new day come the Lord’s great love, grace and mercies.

It's been years since I've had a real input in the game anyway. For this game, I've just tried to keep all the other stuff away from the players and coaches.

Judaism to me, as badly as I practiced it, what I've always loved about it was its total embrace of complexity, its admission of unknowability.

Fiction is risky for writers also in that the process of making certain books, of shaping certain narratives, leaves scars and marks on your inner life.

There is a process of social and of political differentiation going on in the real working class all the time.

[The camera] may be said to make a picture of whatever it sees, the object glass is the eye of the instrument - the sensitive paper may be compared to the retina.

The greatest inventors are unknown to us. Someone invented the wheel - but who?

The living Lord leads His living church.

Your masters at Oxford have taught you to idolize reason, drying up the prophetic capacities of your heart!