Most reporters who come to me get their stories directly from press releases. Very few do what one would consider to be their professional duty.

It is the fool who thinks he cannot be fooled.

Most important to any fake story is a plausible, realistic edge with a satirical twist that is topical.

Any deviation is looked upon as a perversion, is feared, and is usually a target of hatred and prejudice.

We function in a pack mentality. This is our tribe. And this is how we are exploited - sold a bill of goods and a household of products.

The media is not just the message. The media is a massage. We're constantly being stroked, manipulated, adjusted, realigned, and manoeuvered.

When I create a false reality, I always try to create a plausible structure to help convince people.

What do we believe? Why do we believe it?

My challenge as a satirical artist is how to present ideas to people to enable them to question and reexamine their beliefs. My hope is, that my work provokes people to look at things in a new way.

I created hoaxes. I confronted and challenged the majority opinion. I attacked, humiliated, and criticized the voice of the corporate mainstream media.

Any journalist worth his or her salt wouldn't trust me.

There is that gnawing feeling that we are far more than what we believe ourselves to be. Maybe it’s time to believe the gnawing.

I understand a lot of stuff for a lot of people, how??You won't get the answer!

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

If you battle L, you picked the wrong head I smash mics like cornbread You can't kill me, I was born dead

Don't be the best in town. Just try to be the best until the best come around.

I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not that social. When I say, “I never go out,” I mean, “I never go out.”

Well I've written four beauty books as well.

When I was 18 the vision was to make music that didn't exist, because everything else was so unsatisfactory.

I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous.

When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.