Me, Billy Crystal and John Goodman hang out non-stop, and all we do is silly voices. We hang out in a little closet and do voices together.

I was a bartender at a Pizzeria Uno's for nine years. The people I worked with were amazing, but it was quite possibly the most miserable time of my life.

I steal props from SNL a great deal. Almost every sketch Im in, I try to grab something from it, so I have a storage space full of props.

My mom makes something called green pie, which I thought was a delicacy that many people only had at Thanksgiving, but it turns out it was just Jell-O with whipped cream on it. And it's delicious.

When I was at Upright Citizens Brigade, I would pretend to be a sad, drunk rapper.

In my mind, not in real life. My rap name will be Optimus Rhymes. Or the Notorious B.o.B.

These days with the web, you can burn out a character really quick.

If you watched 'Lost,' sometimes the episodes were crazy good and sometimes you're like, "That one was just sorta there."

I'm not very big on politics. I'm a comedian and not that smart. I don't have the mind capacity for it.

I'm very wary with impressions - I don't think I'm very good at impressions, I hate doing them.

I'm very bad with music. I don't know any new music. I've listened to the same 10 or 12 albums my whole life.

The aftereffects of confiding something you shouldn't have, almost as bad as a hangover.

But the conceited man did not hear him. Conceited people never hear anything but praise.

I want to be a machine.

You determine your future by the thoughts and pictures you hold in your mind today.

Is an artist much more than a beggar?

Literature is the voice of the human heart.

You who read me, are You sure of understanding my language?

People ask, 'What's the best role you've ever played?' The next one.

There is more honor in a field well plowed than in a field steeped in blood.

Its so boring to just hire a fancy caterer and have them do everything.