Marriage is when two people are joined together to become one desperately boring person.

If you expect a kick in the balls and you get a slap in the face, it's a victory.

I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.

Running is never fun. Running is something that you do when there's a man chasing you with a knife.

Football is the best way to get to know a people and a city.

Take the wheat, not the measure in which it is contained

She looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room each believing himself in mortal peril from the other whom he assumes to have perfect vision.

Clinging uncritically to traditional ideas and beliefs often serves to obscure or deny real facts of our life history.

And thou shalt in thy daughter see, This picture, once, resembled thee.

If we can stay with the tension of opposites long enough —sustain it, be true to it—we can sometimes become vessels within which the divine opposites come together and give birth to a new reality.

They are becoming hysterical. This is the result of frustration.

Anger is a better weapon than tears; a burr commands more respect than a sensitive plant.

I've never done real sci-fi. I've never played an alien. I've never played some sort of superhero. Which I'd love to do!

There is only one Soul in the Universe. There is no 'you' or 'me'; all variety is merged into the absolute unity, the one infinite existence - God.