Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junk mail.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

My collage opens my heart to endless joy. I am an artist!

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies.

I don't think the people of Chicago should be robbed of their birthright to be perennial losers.

Every sentence is the result of a long probation.

These are the routines that originally 'put me on the map' in the magic world.

Our worlds are so momentary. We are along all our lives and then go off that way as well.

Obama and his allies are promoting a medical system that is the third leading cause of death in America. It's that stark and it's that simple.

A successful marriage is a decision. You decide whether it's going to work, and then you turn around and you've been married 45 years.

In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of the matter about which he is to speak.

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.