Just as there is nothing between the admirable omelette and the intolerable so with autobiography.

Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, There’s always laughter and good red wine. At least I’ve always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

When one remembers how the Catholic Church has been governed, and by whom, one realizes that it must have been divinely inspired to have survived at all.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

The Llama is a woolly sort of fleecy hairy goat, with an indolent expression and an undulating throat; like an unsuccessful literary man.

We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

I shoot the Hippopotamus with bullets made of platinum, because if I use the leaden one his hide is sure to flatten em.

The Church is a perpetually defeated thing that always outlives her conquerers.

These are the advantages of travel, that one meets so many men whom one would otherwise never meet, and that one feeds as it were upon the complexity of mankind

I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

A toast, Jedediah, to love on my terms. Those are the only terms anybody ever knows - his own.

Remember that you are never alone—you are always with yourself.

In every out-thrust headland in every curving beach in every grain of sand there is the story of the earth.

It would be terribly boring to be earnest.

A woman can beat any man; it's difficult to imagine another kind of sport where a woman can beat a man. That's why I like chess.

It's one thing to see a vision; it's another thing to be seized by a vision.

That's the reason I'm not the one that's dead because the attraction of the fast life is very powerful.

It is a fair summary of history to say that the safeguards of liberty have been forged in controversies involving not very nice people.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

Don't squat with your spurs on.