It's tough getting older. You start falling apart, you know? My gums are starting to recede now. You can't tell tonight, though, 'cause I comb them forward.

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.

Breaking News: Winds so strong in NYC The Statue of Liberty's gown just blew off!

I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak fluent Spanish.

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.

I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.

Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.

You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person you're with.

I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.

Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.

Every morning the first thing I do is serve my husband a bowl full of praises. More then his stomach I try to keep his ego full.

"This isn’t really death," Tyler says, "We’ll be legend. We won’t grow old." I tongue the barrel into my cheek and say, Tyler, you’re thinking of vampires.

The idea that Bentham and Mill were maximizers is the greatest stretch of all. They were progressivists, committed to improving the societies in which they lived, not utopian maximizers.

Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can. Keep the covenants your children know you have made. Give priesthood blessings. And bear your testimony!

The difference between right and wrong is often not more than five metres.

When love is gone, there's always justice.

when michael jackson died i wonder if his life flashed before him and if it did, i wonder if he thought 'who's that little black kid singing my songs?!'

Radical Islam has been the foe of Christendom for centuries.

I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.

You see, our hard-earned saving are always going to be taken away from us by someone - whether we have any or not.