A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.

Breaking News: Winds so strong in NYC The Statue of Liberty's gown just blew off!

I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak fluent Spanish.

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.

I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.

Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.

You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person you're with.

I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.

Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.

Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.

Oh, man, " he mumbled with a full mouth. "At least the food is good.

I hold no candle for George Osborne whatsoever. He has no strategic skills, is a hopeless chancellor, has no idea how most people have to live and his policies are failing and hurting millions.

Our true nature is free of any and all notions of gender, of any notions of difference whatsoever.

In the chapel you prayed to be a saint and now I will make you a god.

I can't dance anymore. Total knee replacements. I can't do anything anymore.

These vicious claims about me of inappropriate conduct with women are totally and absolutely false.

I come from the Lynchs of Sligo. You know, I went there, but I looked in the phone book and there are nine million Lynches in Sligo.

The great disadvantage of being in a rat race is that it is humiliating. The competitors in a rat race are by definition rodents.

We have to think before we act.

I'm nervous ahead of every gig. I feel like running away three seconds before I'm due on stage. But I'm all right as soon as I get the mic in my hand.