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Victoria Wood Quotes

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Victoria Wood Quotes: "Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years."

I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.




Victoria Wood Quotes: "I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on."

I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597."

Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.




Victoria Wood Quotes: "All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro."

All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?"

On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?



Victoria Wood Quotes: "I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts."

I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.




Victoria Wood Quotes: "In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones."

In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet."

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron."

If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing."

I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system."

Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.




Victoria Wood Quotes: "If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony."

If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder."

If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena."

My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill."

I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on."

Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Acting is not my favourite thing. I don't like wearing costumes and wigs."

Acting is not my favourite thing. I don't like wearing costumes and wigs.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes."

I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?"

Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?



Victoria Wood Quotes: "People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them."

People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you."

In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing."

A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that."

Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room."

I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends."

Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop."

In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop.



Victoria Wood Quotes: "Life is a windowless room in the Hotel Bellevue."

Life is a windowless room in the Hotel Bellevue.