It's all been satirized for your protection.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Things that you love or hate very much can be your destination

I sincerely wish war was a pleasanter and easier business than it is but it does not admit of holidays.

Football is so barbaric. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking by playing it. I feel almost like I escaped from boot camp.

One thing that Life and I agreed right from the start was that one war photographer was enough for my family; I was to be a photographer of peace.

I have just realized that the stakes are myself I have no other ransom money, nothing to break or barter but my life

In general, any form of exercise, if pursued continuously, will help train us in perseverance. Long-distance running is particularly good training in perseverance.

It is not how much you make that counts, but how much money you keep.

A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many, I had not thought death had undone so many.

I really do inhabit a system in which words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government, where words can prove mightier than 10 military divisions.