It is a known fact that the sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies.

Every week when my batch of weekly cartoons would go to FedEx, it felt like a small miracle. Then in a few days, it's 'Here we go again.'

I don't believe in the concept of hell, but if I did I would think of it as filled with people who were cruel to animals.

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry'.

You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'.

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

You should always leave the party 10 minutes before you actually do.

The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen... The world's climates are changing, the mammals are taking over, and we all have a brain about the size of a walnut.

The fuel light's on, Frank! We're all going to die! Wait, wait... Oh, my mistake - that's the intercom light.

Hot oil! We need hot oil!... Forget the water balloons!

No sign, so far, of anything sinister—but I live in hope.

Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

I got cat class and I got cat style

You make an open-ended proposition and the audience completes it somehow. That’s what you hope an artwork to be-a constantly living thing.

pity is an agreeable sentiment, uplifting like military music.

The narrative was too constricted; it was like a fetus strangling on its own umbilical cord.

Poverty is a relatively mild disease for even a very flimsy American soul, but uselessness will kill strong and weak souls alike, and kill every time.

Master of the universe is every man's potential insight, cosmic potential.

Heart be brave. If you cannot be brave, just go. Love's glory is not a small thing.

While the best men are guided by love, most mean are still goaded by fear.